1. Angelina Jolie's muumuu sets of pregnancy rumors at the SAG Awards: Exploding computers at tabloid offices worldwide when they can't handle the combination of the words "muumuu" and "paparazzi" in the same sentence.

2. Jessica Simpson's lawyer scolds OK! magazine: Her father was too busy bra shopping for her at Victoria Secrets to do it himself.

3. New Kids on the Block reportedly planning to reunite: The impending yawn will take on the monster in Cloverfield II.

4. Surviving Beatles invited to Israel, 43 years after being banned: Next up, Madonna in 2023.

5. Nursing mom Elisabeth Hasselbeck calls herself "the Dairy Queen": Can you imagine her husband's nickname if they had to use artificial insemination to get pregnant? (Hint: A certain California drive-thru burger joint.)

6. Band gets big in Chile after unauthorized use of their song in toothpaste ad: "So what," says Joan Baez, who's been big there since foot powder ads with her tunes ran back in the 80's.

7. Whale activitist and Heroes star Hayden Panettiere called latter-day Jane Fonda: Millions of fanboys cry out for a remake of Barbarella.

8. FCC fines the long-canceled NYPD Blue for indecency: Give 'em a break, they had been tied up in a court battle with the corpse of Sam Kinison.

9. Dean Winters of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles claims his imposter is roaming New York City: His doppelgänger quickly hooks up with Paris Hilton's imposter.

10. Ryan Seacrest gives Ellen Degeneres a phallic bingo stamper for her birthday: After the show her girlfriend Portia De Rossi was reportedly overheard cooing, "I-16."